<———–Sooo this is what I wore to work today and THIS is the response (I use “response” lightly as I was not asking for one!) I received from a male co-worker – as he walked into the break room and looked me up and down – “What happened? You looked so good on Friday and now you look all frumpy?” With disappointment in his tone and on his face. “WOW…no way that just happened?” Was my inner response as I looked at the other two men I was having a SEPARATE conversation with as one proceeded to walk out to avoid the awkward moment and the other just laughed (maybe also, to avoid the awkwardness) As I called the laughing by-stander out for laughing at the situation I quickly turned to the “accuser” and said “Wow, I didn’t know I was here for your viewing pleasure!” he then, quickly apologized and re-iterated his confusion as to how I can “look so good on Friday” and look “frumpy” today. I walked out as I could not stand to be standing in front of him any longer, realizing I am just an object to him. As I walked back to my cubicle I said loud enough for the men around me (him included) to hear me say “I am not an ornament! I am here to work just as you are!”

YUP, that REALLY happened and I spent the rest of the day thinking about the incident. Soon after I got back to my desk, the accuser (I choose not to name names, as I channel my inner Taylor Swift) tries to apologize over and over. He offered me up “knuckles” as he said, “I’m sorry, I feel like an idiot now, knuckles?” I wish you could see the look on my face as I just stared at his fist….”UM, NOT A CHANCE IN HELL” I replied. He just left them there and so did I. Eventually he went back to his desk with his tail between his legs.

Throughout the rest of the day, he tried to make peace with me by striking up friendly conversation about my work load and each time I just murmured something to him as if to not care, BECAUSE I DIDN’T, and he would walk away. At one point a mutual friend, I use the word “friend” because he is a co-worker but I consider him my best work friend, was at my cubicle striking up some “water-cooler talk” minus the cooler because my cubicle is closer to his and let’s face it…we’re never really thirsty, we just want to chat. As he approached me for some light conversation, so did the culprit – trying to ease his way back into my good graces. My friend made a comment about my snappy attitude – which I will allow because only he can call me out on that kind of truth as I do the same to him and my quick response was, “Well at least you didn’t call me FRUMPY” along with an eye roll in his direction. The culprit quickly responds with a puppy dog face “I’m sorrrrrrry” and my “friend” looks at him and says “You’re an idiot, you should never say that to a woman – you say it behind her back!” Then he giggles and walks away. Now, although his response might not have been 100% appropriate, I let it roll off my back a little easier than the “frumpy” sitch because 1: I know him well enough to know, he was making light of a situation that he did not want to get involved in, and 2: He NEVER and I mean never approaches a controversial conversation without exiting the convo with his own controversial yet humorous spin. So anyway…he himself has a tolerable level of respect for women so I’ll write a song about him later….for now my HIT SINGLE (still channeling my inner T-Swift) will be called “I’m not here for your viewing pleasure” and the culprit WILL NOT get ANY royalties.

Now that I’ve got that off my chest, I’d like to open up the floor for your thoughts. Would you have forgiven him? Because I did think about it. I thought about walking up to his desk and offering my forgiveness with a little lesson on objectification and sexual harassment in the workplace. Adding that although I forgive him for his ignorance, I feel sorry for his WIFE and all of the other women in his life, INCLUDING every woman he had EVER encountered as they have only ever been viewed as sexual objects with no other value but to look good. BUT, I have to remind myself that may not be the case, although it sure seems that way. I think I will just continue ignoring him, as I feel that might be a learning lesson in itself. Maybe, just maybe, he will have enough self awareness to reflect on the situation and take something from it OR maybe I am the only one still thinking about it. BUT either way, I needed to get this out there. People need to know that this stuff does happen and you have every right to stand up for yourself.

I dress however I damn well please on a daily basis and yes, some days I might look what is to be considered more socially acceptable for women in the workplace to dress. BUT this is NOT Mad Men…I’m not here to pour your bourbon and make copies for you. I am a liberated working class WOMAN and I WILL dress however my hard working, college educated, hustling, self respecting, narrow ASS pleases!!!

Thank you for listening and feel free to chime in!

Peace, Love & Frump it up!

Elisabeth Hope Adkins

I met my cousin Abby September of 2009 when she came to California to see the ocean for the first time. Abby was checking items off of her bucket list at the young age of 15 because she was diagnosed with a rare and fatal bone cancer. When my dad heard of her condition, he couldn’t help but play a part in what ended up being her last moments on this earth.

From what I can remember, Abby had a lengthy list of bucket items including getting a tattoo, dying her hair blue and seeing the ocean. I know for sure she did the last two because when I was introduced to her at the Blue Water Grill, where we went for dinner that night she had blue streaks in here hair and that day had seen the ocean with my parents, her mom and brother Chris. I remember looking at her thinking, there is no way she is dying. She was so full of energy and put off a positive vibe. She tried ceviche that night for the first time and decided it wasn’t her favorite but she was willing to try anything. We visited La Jolla cove and watched baby sea lions scoot scoot around as the waves crashed on the jetty. I loved watching it all through her eyes. The cove was something I took for granted but for Abby it would be one of her fondest memories.

When Abby left California they drove away in our old raisin colored Civic that Dad gave them because the car they had back at home in Oklahoma didn’t have AC and they spent MANY hours in the car driving back and forth to the hospital for Abby’s treatments daily. I was so proud of my dad that day. Not proud of him, but rather proud that he was my father. That he did something as big as giving a car away to help his family. Unfortunately, Abby did not get a lot of use out of the car because after they left California she only lived another month and passed away December 2009.

Dad had been working on finding more of his relatives ever since my Grandma passed away in 2006 which is how we came to find Abby, her mom Mary Beth and Chris. We had visited Grandmas cousins in Wyoming when we went to spread her ashes and I think it was then that we learned of Mary Beth and her two kids.  My grandmas death was bittersweet as we gained family and uncovered family history, it was truly a blessing that lead us to Abby.

But the harsh truth is, we are here and Abby isn’t. Which is why when I heard about all the children here in our community that are fighting cancer I thought of Abby, her beautiful blue eyes and her little hippie vibe. I loved that about her, she was herself and wasn’t trying to impress a soul. Just living it up because she knew this is the only life she will live.

This month is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month – personally I think every month should be…it’s like Mother’s Day or Grandparents Day, these people should be honored every day! But of course, I have a degree in Marketing, I get it, I get it…so LET’S DO THIS!! Seriously, lets do something about the fact that Pediatric Cancers are scarcely underfunded. We don’t have to donate hundreds, actually thats the beauty of having a month! If we raise enough awareness this month people WILL take action. Change your profile photo, hang a gold ribbon on your door step, whatever YOU do, I promise it will be contributing to the cause. Every little act of kindness matters!

To get involved click ANY of the links below! #GoGold for the Month of September with me!

In loving Memory of Abby

Peace, Love & #GoGold
Elisabeth Hope Adkins

I never thought I’d see the day. The day I paint a 29 week baby bump with two precious identical twin baby girls inside kicking and moving around causing my dear friend Kelli to have contractions as I brush sunshine yellow paint over her belly button and around and around until I covered most of the surface area of her tummy. “Kelli’s Belly” I like to call it. It looks just the same as any other pregnant belly I’ve ever seen, but inside there is something VERY unique.

Baby “A” Ashlyn and baby “B” Brielle” are an extremely rare set of “momo” twins, so unique that it happens 1 in every 10,000 twin pregnancies. The term momo stands for Monamniotic Monochorionic Twins – Which from my understanding means they share the same embryonic sack which although sounds cuddly and cute, it makes the pregnancy very high risk. Kelli and her husband Jeremy made the decision along with their doctor to move Kelli into the care of medical professionals 5 weeks ago. Her goal: to make it to 32 weeks which makes the magical date for the girls to make their grand entrance – September 10th!

While the family anxiously awaits their arrival, memories are already being made. Jeremy will forever have stories to tell about sleeping in the hospital issued “dad chair” and Kelli, well Kelli is experiencing more than the average mama ever will. But I truly believe God only gives you what you can handle and I know Kelli might be cringing as she reads this, BUT girl, it’s the truth. You are already showing your girls how a little faith and A LOT of strength and love can get you through anything.

Naturally, I was honored when Kelli and I decided to do a twist on my traditional Breasties painting, to sort of commemorate her time spent carefully nurturing her baby girls under the close watch of the nurses in the Perinatal Special Care unit at Kaiser Hospital, the very place Kelli herself was born. With the help of her family, friends and wonderful hubby Jeremy, Kelli has made her 4th floor corner room stay as close to “home” as possible. Photos of their pug pups Phil and Norman are on a shelf surrounded by diaper bouquets, tiny baby socks, cards and tokens of love. A photo of the happy couple sits framed in one of two windows Kelli has in her room and it’s usually surrounded by fresh flowers delivered by her loving hubby! Oh and the best part…itty bitty premie onesies pinned on a colorful yarn clothes line multiply each time I visit. They are the tiniest onesies I have ever seen and the thought of her little “twincesses” (as Kelli cleverly coined during one of my visits) will fit in them is just mind boggling.

Today I spent a little more time their than usual, but where else would I be? I had the day off and my friend is going through something very difficult yet so magical at the same time. It’s a roller coaster of emotions – the kind of roller coaster that gets up to the top and then sits there and makes you wait and wait and wait to hit the gas and have some fun. Kelli is right there at the top…so close to the wild, crazy fun ride called motherhood. I want so badly for her, Jeremy, Ashlyn and Brielle to get there and I know they will, but gosh if I can be this anxious about it, I can’t imagine how Kelli must feel.

{Enter the painting} Because creating beautiful works of art i how I heal. Painting Kelli’s belly today took her mind off of her aching back and her (on a scale of 1 – 10) 5 contractions for about 8 minutes. This creation (the painting not the babies) we are making together is so special to me and even more special to Kelli as it will hang in their nursery, their bedroom and maybe even a dorm room one day…I LOVE that I can create memories and pay tribute to life’s most precious moments with my friends and even perfect strangers. As always, I wish there was more I could do for Kelli to make her time at Kaiser easier but I’m pretty sure Ashlyn and Brielle will make it worth her while. ; )

Thank you Kelli for being my first Breasties Baby Bump and for sharing your mama-hood journey with me!

Love you Kelli, Jeremy, Ashlyn and Brielle!!

Peace, Love & Momo babes,

Elisabeth Hope Adkins

I got the best news on Tuesday and I have had to wait until now to announce it because I have been so busy!  I am blessed with so many things in life, one of those many blessings is my cherished relationship with my Little. No we are not in a sorority but yes, she is my Little. She is my Little because she is smaller than me although she is taller, I feel like it is my duty to protect her. She is my Little because she is 7 years younger than me and even though that seems like a  significant age difference it never held us back from becoming so very close from the start! And she is my Little, because everyone thinks we are sisters, which I LOVE, even though we really don’t think we look alike but our personalities are very similar. Like she said when she spoke at my wedding in July of last year “We share the same soul” That could not be a truer statement.

She makes my heart smile every day with her contagious spirit, sarcasm & innate ability to make me feel beautiful inside and out…I didn’t think my heart could get any warmer and then it did…

Little knows how much the breast cancer community means to me. And although after walking my first 3-day last year and counting bunnies along my 60 mile path because they reminded me of her & seeing a pile of dogs in a cheering section – wishing Little was there with me to talk in her animal voice- I never wanted to ask her to walk with me in 2014. Of course I thought about it but I knew if thats what her heart desired she would be there. She is a busy college student working hard at accomplishing her own goals. I just didn’t want to make her feel obligated because I have to remind myself my passions  – while I know she supports them and quite possibly be my biggest fan, are not everyone’s passions.

BUT what was I thinking? After all, we share the same soul. Which is why I should not have been shocked when she told me as we were (ironically) on a walk, that she has decided to join team Breasties in the 3-day  this year. I was overwhelmed with emotions, chills covered my pasty white legs (I should not have been wearing shorts in January) I always knew how much she loved me and supported my desire to be a part of the cure but in that moment I realized I had a true blue stuck like glue friend for all of eternity. I mean, we always knew we would grow old together – we already have our retirements planned. Spoiler alert: it involves, moo-moo’s, mexican food & a puppy plantation. Needless to say we will have plenty of time to fill in all the details when we walk along side each other with Mr. Personality (my brother) of course, as we continue the FIGHT against breast cancer.

I am counting my blessings today more than ever  and I am so pumped for the 3-day 2014! If you would like to get involved or join our team click here or ask me how you can help!

Peace, Love & Friendship

Elisabeth Hope Adkins

My baby brother Brian was my first best friend and for the next 3 days he is my partner in the quest for a CURE !

We are all packed and ready to walk, all we have left to do is get a good nights sleep! I am so thrilled to be spending the next 3 days walking for the cure with my little brother. Since the beginning Brian has always supported me in all my ventures. We have a sense of trust that is undeniable and a bond that cannot be explained.

Our hearts are full of love and compassion and for the next 3-days I am sure Brian and I will share tears, laughter, love & joy as we share in this beautiful journey of HOPE.

I truly believe the 3-day has so many powers and I am looking forward to soaking up all it has to offer.

Thank you for getting us to the start line. We will carry all of you with us because we couldn’t have made it here without you.

Here we go! Hope to see you on the route!

Peace, Love & Breastie Brothers,

Elisabeth Hope Adkins

Our team is growing and I am so excited! Last year it was just me and my number one fan (mom.) This year all of my closest supporters are on board along with a breast cancer fighter and her family! It is truly going to be a beautiful day full of strength and HOPE.

Breasties has 12 team members & growing! We’ve raised $154 so far! Let’s keep it up!

As always thank you for the support! Please join our team! It’s a beautiful experience. Promise.

Click here to donate or JOIN Breasties 5K team!

Peace, Love & WALK,

Elisabeth

I introduced the little jar of HOPE this past weekend at a Breasties party.

Guests are invited to write the name(s) of a loved one affected by breast cancer on a ‘ticket’ & then place it in the jar of hope as they say a little prayer or sing a little song in their heart.

I came up with this idea because I meet so many people affected by cancer & I carry them all in my heart every single day BUT the 3-day is where thousands of people will be walking with hearts bursting at the seams, pink ribbons pinned to max capacity, memorials plastered across the backs of t-shirts & tutus worn despite the chaffing…all of that because we LOVE.

With all of that in mind I thought it only made sense that I collect the names of my fellow Breasties loved ones that have been affected by breast cancer so I too can do my part in making the 3-day the most BEAUTIFUL act of SELFLESSNESS mankind will ever see.

Please comment here if you would like to virtually add a name to my little jar of HOPE.

Peace, Love & HOPE
Elisabeth Hope Adkins